Back to Cold Weather

A woman comes up to me, flabbergasted, because she can’t believe we have so much warm, heavy clothes in our store. She can’t understand why we’d be in such a warm climate and have cold-weather clothes. Actually, a lot of ‘smarty-pants’ walk by or walk through our store laughing, because obviously they’re the smart, funny one in their group, saying, “Look at these sweaters, who is going to wear that here? Ha-ha.” Jokes on you dumb-ass.

I’ll give you a moment to consider how or why a warm-weather store would even think to carry even mildly cold weather merchandise. Yes, some people do work in offices with air-conditioning. Yes, some people get cold anywhere. Did you get it yet?

“A majority of our customers are tourists coming from really cold places. They often buy these warm pieces to take back home, and many of them get a pretty good deal.”
And the woman’s response? It is actually inane.
“WELL I JUST CAME FROM COLD WEATHER! I live in cold weather all-year-long! I want warm clothes!”
Now, on one hand, yes, it’s wise to have warm weather clothes here, and yes, we always have warm-weather clothes–year-round, you just have to open your eyes and see how much we actually have and not focus on the sweaters which the tourists gather up by the handful. You also have to realize the irony of her own narrow-minded comment–you live in cold weather year-round. Where are you going to wear your clothes the longest? A week here, or the rest of the year in cold weather? I’m sure it’s fun to spend your money on disposable clothing, because you burn cash in your fireplace, but some people like to plan ahead of time and have cool, cold weather outfits that no one else can get and no one else has. Some people like to say, “Yeah, you can get that here, I bought it while I was on vacation getting a tan!”

I pity the woman who doesn’t even understand the irony of her own statements. Nor was I surprised when I showed her the huge assortment of tank-tops, T-shirts, and V-necks that we had available, and that she’d end up buying nothing.

A piece of work. A-piece-of-work. I pity her husband even more.

Customer types: Agreeing to disagree, The Dumb, Self-fulfilling Prophet

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Nothing Will Work

“I know you won’t have what I’m looking for, but I might as well try.”
“Okay.”
“I’m looking for sweaters.”
I bring her to our first sweaters–crew-neck style.
“No, I’m looking for a V-neck style.”
Okay, sure, I can understand that. So bring her to our V-neck sweaters.
“No, I want the ones with buttons.”
Okay, maybe she’s no fashion-expert, she doesn’t know a sweater with buttons is called a cardigan. So I bring her to our cardigans.
“No, these are too light, I want them thicker.”
Okay, maybe she’s visiting somewhere cold. So I bring her to our heavier cardigans.
“No, there’s no collar.”
Okay, now this is getting irritating. So I bring her to our cardigans with collars.
“No, you don’t have what I want. But hey, at least I tried.”
Really? Did you? Even a little? I think not.

Customer Type: Agreeing to Disagree, The Riddler, Self-Fulfilling Prophesizer

The Sudden Nirvanas.

Tonight was one of those customers which use the vaunted, “Yesyes.” In other words, imagine yourself speaking, and in mid-sentence, someone cuts you off saying, “Yesyes.” If you were in a social situation, chances are, you’ll say something along the lines of, “That was very rude!” Of course, in retail, with the ‘mental giants’ (sarcasm) which exist here, it is their ‘right as a customer’ to shut you up when they feel like it. Because, the customer is always right. Yeah, right.

So a customer is making a return, and she purchased two of the same items in different colors. Currently, we mark items down not by the entire style, but by their individual colors, especially considering the amount left within the store, so we are not belabored with a mountain of extra sizes in an ugly color. (Black, white, and gray usually cost more when on sale, than orange, green, or maroon, because more people buy the basic colors.) Well the woman was returning the cheaper of two shirts (same style, different color) mentioning the fact they were different prices. And I tell her about the different color, different price rule.

“Oh, but it’s the same shirt.”
“Yes, I know.”
“So [the cashier] charged me wrong.”
“No, I just told you, different colors have different prices.”
“But, it’s the same shirt,” she lifts a pink shirt, “I also bought a white shirt like this.” I try not to roll my eyes.
“Yes, different colors have different prices.”
“[The cashier] must have overcharged me, but that’s okay.”
*Rolls eyes*
I am processing her return, and again, “So it’s only worth this much, even though I was charged more for the other shirt?”
“Yes, because different colors have different prices. We have a lot more pink…”
“Yesyes.”
Urgh.

–
There are different discounts: buy two pants for $35 each, buy three polo for $20 each, buy four panties for $10 each, etc. and each of these discounts appear in your transaction once you reach the two, three or four item minimum. Now, here I present a lose-lose situation.

In the beginning, I’d try to ring up all the items before the customer could react. More often than not, they would cut in saying, “How come this costs that much? It says I get two/three/four for that amount!?!”
“I didn’t scan them all in yet,” *Beep*, “See, now they are all the lower price.”

Being tired of this reaction, before I even start to scan, I’d tell people, “This is buy two/three/four for X-dollars, once all are scanned in, the price will adjust.” I hope this solves the problem.
Instead, 90% of the time, before I can get to the end of that sentence, they say, “Yesyes,” effectively cutting me off. So from people who are aghast and confused their discount isn’t automatic after the first item is scanned, they are not psychic-geniuses whom know the discount only applies when all items are scanned in. It is almost like they become dumber the longer they stand at the register. It is amazing! We should always complete the transaction before they even start– yesyes!

Customer Type: Yesyes, Deaf