Step on that Ruched!

I answer a phone call, and the person on the line says, “Hello? I’m looking for the roach top.”
I stand there for a second, and repeat “Hello?”
“Hello?”
“Are you looking for kids clothes?” I mean, I can’t think of any roaches, maybe grasshoppers or ladybugs.
“No, I’m looking for a womens top. It’s a roach top. Mine is too small, I need a medium or large one, preferably black, but I’ll take red, too.”
I pause for another second. “Okay, let me put you on hold.” I ask around, “Hey, there is a customer looking for a roach top. Does anyone know what that is?”
“Do you mean ruched?” When an item of clothing is ruched generally the top is folded over onto itself creating a look similar to curtains or pleats, some people would consider it ruffles or petals.
I take another moment, and realize, “Oh!” At this point, we all laugh, and start to make roach comments. “I need help finding a big roach. No, that’s not big enough. I need a medium or large black roach. Did you find my roach yet? My customer needs a roach now!”
After the laughter has died down, I pick up the phone, “Yes, I have your roach top. I found some gray, too, just in case.”
“Oh, thank you!”
No, no, thank you.

Customer Type: The Dumb, FashioNOTstas

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First Sign of Winter?

There is a man shopping, he’s looking for an item. He asks for a sweater that zips down the middle.

STOP!

Okay, can you list three real pieces of clothing which fulfill this criteria in a Men’s store? A sweater and it zips down the middle. Think about it. Okay, time’s up.

1. A hoodie, right? Nope.
2. A zip cardigan? Nope, wrong again.
3. What else is there? Some half-zip, mock-turtle neck mishap? Or maybe a sweater-vest which zips down the middle, because that’s trendy, and oh-so awesome, right? Not.

Whatever it is, we didn’t have what he was looking for. It’s not what he was talking about. So what was this? Some item that doesn’t yet exist, which he hopes someone will eventually design one day? If it’s that revolutionary, he might have to design it himself, or he’ll never find it. There are certainly only so many options when it comes to a sweater which zips down the middle.

Customer Types: FashioNOTstas, Tailor-Made