That Makes Scents.

I answer the phone, and a male voice asks about our fragrances we have available.
“Yes, we do have that scent in stock,” I tell the customer.
“Well, how much do you have?” Their tone is already coming our rude and unkind.
“We currently have a lot in…” I’m cut off.
The customer yells at  me, with a cocky tone, “No. I want to know exactly how many you have!”
“Okay, hold on, I’ll go count.”
“Yes, you do that.”
I wonder why people feel the need to be so rude. I understand the status of anonymity, and the whole trolling around the internet and being jerks thing, but it seems logical that people should learn manners sometimes in their life, right? Anyway, I go and count the mini-size and the full-size bottles we carry, writing everything down just in case I get questioned about fluid ounces, and packaging. As I’m about the lift the phone, the line dies. I know from the tone of the customer, I’m already going to have a call-back.
So I wait patiently by the phone.
No need to be patient. The phone rings within ten seconds.
I answer, and the same rude voice starts to say, “Excuse me, I was cut off!”
I cut the person off, yet again, “We have exactly six of the mini, and twenty-two of the full-sized scent.”
“Good! I’m going to clean you out!” And he hangs up on me. I’m not even slightly bemused by this, as I recite the story, guessing the person will be about 5’7″ and weigh about 180 to 220 pounds from the sound of his voice and the way he talked. We all wait, holding our breath, “Did the scent customer come yet?”

So we wait. We wait for a long time, and I end up at the register and see someone packing the scents on top of the display. I’m in disbelief, it’s an older woman, but otherwise my calculations were correct. Roughly 5’8″ and over 200 pounds. She speaks, and she sounds like a man. “I spoke to you on the phone.” Her tone is no less rude and insulting in person. She asks if the scents are on sale.
My manager is nearby and says, “No, they don’t ever go on sale.”
“Oh, don’t give me that bullshit! I know they go on sale, with that bogo (buy-one-get-one). I’ve bought them for ten years from you guys! Don’t you lie to me, and tell me they don’t go on sale!” She goes on to recite how the other store would always call her and tell her when they were on sale and she’d buy all of their scents.

Later, the manager comes and tells me, “That’s promotion, that’s not sale, they don’t go on sale,” to justify herself.

Customer Types: The Capitalist, Micromanagement

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Double Duty Dumb

First, I have an old man who is looking for two cuts of denim, one we carry, one we don’t. One is a high-rise, especially made for conservative men. The other is a higher-rise, but also baggy. We can call it Baggy. Well I show him to the high-rise we carry in-store, telling him the Baggy is only online.

A small, tiny woman gets my attention while I’m still helping the man. The woman asks me, “Hello, I can looking for a boot-cut,” she pauses for a long time, “For women.” Well that’s helpful. Suddenly, another small, tiny woman appears. I ask if they are looking for dress pants or jeans. They look at me blankly. So I take them to the denim, and they say they want the other option. At this time, most of our dress pants are on sale, including the boot-cut style.
I ask, “What size are you looking for?”
“One-petite.”
“We don’t carry that size in the store, they do carry it online. Our smallest size in-store is usually two-short…”
“Okay, two-short.”
“I”m sorry, these pants have been on sale for a long time, and all these pants are in larger sizes.”
“Do you have it any place else?”
“We do have some non-sale pants,” so I walk to another wall to show them the dress pants we do have in their size. Of course, these dress pants are flared-leg.
“I don’t want flare, I want boot-cut.”
“All the boot-cut are on sale.”
“Where are they?”
“We just came from there. We don’t have your size.”
“Here is a two-short.”
“This is flare-leg.”
“I don’t want flare, I want boot-cut.”
“We don’t have your size in boot-cut, only in the flare.”
“I want boot-cut.”
Anything I say, only gets a reply of, “I want boot-cut.” So I decide to walk away.

I find the old man looking at the lowest, tightest fitting jeans we have, which is entirely different from what he asked for.
I take him back to our high-rise denim.
“Where is the Baggy?”
“We don’t carry it in-store anymore. It is only available on-line. We do have a loose-style over here which is similar to the Baggy.”
“So that’s where the Baggy is?”
“No, it’s similar to the Baggy.”
“So where is the Baggy?”
“It’s only available online.”
“So what is that?” He points at the loose-style.
“It’s the loose-style.”
“Where is the Baggy?”
“We don’t have any, but the loose-style is the closest to it.”  Then I walked away. I can only take so much redundancy. How do these people find the doors to get out of their own homes?

Customer Types: The Blind, The Deaf, The Dumb, Micromanagement,  The Questioner

Shoplifter: Wire Cutters

Yes, I am a  busy-body. Yes, workers from other stores do come in to tell me about shoplifters.

A guy who works at a cosmetics store in the mall is standing at the counter. I know him, and said hello, since he hasn’t been in the store for a while. We start to talk about all the shoplifters, and he says they come in all the time. Just last week, they saw a guy with a bag full of our clothes–the man was standing in their store cutting off the hard-tags with a pair of wire cutters. Obviously, I asked if they are ever allowed to do anything. He says no, they can only watch. Now isn’t that comforting? It is so comforting, at least we have rules in place to encourage these thieves.

The Sudden Nirvanas.

Tonight was one of those customers which use the vaunted, “Yesyes.” In other words, imagine yourself speaking, and in mid-sentence, someone cuts you off saying, “Yesyes.” If you were in a social situation, chances are, you’ll say something along the lines of, “That was very rude!” Of course, in retail, with the ‘mental giants’ (sarcasm) which exist here, it is their ‘right as a customer’ to shut you up when they feel like it. Because, the customer is always right. Yeah, right.

So a customer is making a return, and she purchased two of the same items in different colors. Currently, we mark items down not by the entire style, but by their individual colors, especially considering the amount left within the store, so we are not belabored with a mountain of extra sizes in an ugly color. (Black, white, and gray usually cost more when on sale, than orange, green, or maroon, because more people buy the basic colors.) Well the woman was returning the cheaper of two shirts (same style, different color) mentioning the fact they were different prices. And I tell her about the different color, different price rule.

“Oh, but it’s the same shirt.”
“Yes, I know.”
“So [the cashier] charged me wrong.”
“No, I just told you, different colors have different prices.”
“But, it’s the same shirt,” she lifts a pink shirt, “I also bought a white shirt like this.” I try not to roll my eyes.
“Yes, different colors have different prices.”
“[The cashier] must have overcharged me, but that’s okay.”
*Rolls eyes*
I am processing her return, and again, “So it’s only worth this much, even though I was charged more for the other shirt?”
“Yes, because different colors have different prices. We have a lot more pink…”
“Yesyes.”
Urgh.

–
There are different discounts: buy two pants for $35 each, buy three polo for $20 each, buy four panties for $10 each, etc. and each of these discounts appear in your transaction once you reach the two, three or four item minimum. Now, here I present a lose-lose situation.

In the beginning, I’d try to ring up all the items before the customer could react. More often than not, they would cut in saying, “How come this costs that much? It says I get two/three/four for that amount!?!”
“I didn’t scan them all in yet,” *Beep*, “See, now they are all the lower price.”

Being tired of this reaction, before I even start to scan, I’d tell people, “This is buy two/three/four for X-dollars, once all are scanned in, the price will adjust.” I hope this solves the problem.
Instead, 90% of the time, before I can get to the end of that sentence, they say, “Yesyes,” effectively cutting me off. So from people who are aghast and confused their discount isn’t automatic after the first item is scanned, they are not psychic-geniuses whom know the discount only applies when all items are scanned in. It is almost like they become dumber the longer they stand at the register. It is amazing! We should always complete the transaction before they even start– yesyes!

Customer Type: Yesyes, Deaf