Do Onto Others

A woman comes into the Fitting Room shoving clothes into our return section–where other coworkers come and take unwanted clothes back onto the sales floor.
The woman says, “I’ll be right back.”
“I can just put this into a room for you,” which is generally the best idea, especially considering I don’t even have customers.
“No!” She sighs at me as if I’m stupid, “I’m not trying it on right now! I’ll be right back! I’m just going to leave it here…”
I already know I’m in trouble, and I already know I’m dealing with either a rich, bigot idiot or, well is there any other kind who act like they own you? “I can’t leave it here, someone will take it back out.”
“I’m going to be right back!” She yells at me.
I tell her I’ll leave it at the register if she doesn’t want me to put it in a room, that way it won’t get lost.
“I’m not buying it! I didn’t even try it on!”
Okay, I’m definitely dealing with an idiot. “I understand you, I just don’t want it to get lost.”
“Whatever.” She angrily walks away. And even if she just had someone die, or someone sick, there are things called respect and dignity–but then why would she be trying on velour tracksuits?
Either way, she returned in about four minutes, giving me the eye, and walking promptly into a room–ironically it would have been the first room I put her in anyway. This is the irony of the idiotic, they make the world slower, they make evolution slower, and they waste other people’s times because they can’t think outside of their narrow, narrow little lives.
She finally decides she wants a top and is obviously furious we don’t have her size. A store, several miles away, just a fifteen minute drive, might have the item, but she refuses to go there. “Can you send it here? Can’t do you anything? I don’t want to drive all the way out there!” So I tell her, I can call them, and if they do have it, we can just send it to her home. Finally, she shuts up.
So I ask for the item, and she starts going off again, “How long is this going to take? Can you ring up the stuff I want to buy right now? I don’t want to wait. Is this going to take a long time? Can’t I just give you all my information and you order it for me?”
“We don’t even know if they have it yet, they’re still looking.”
“We, then ring up this stuff.”
At the same time, the person on the other line comes back and says they do have the item. I tell the rude woman they have her item, and they can take her information–as it will be faster, because she already knows all her information. Of course, I already know it won’t be, because this woman obsessed with time makes everything take twice as long.
So I’m ringing up her transaction, listening to her, “What? Why do you need this information? What, yes, that’s my billing information. Wait, wait, I have to check.” She’s sighing, questioning everything they ask. She’s asking them, “How long is this going to take? How long is this going to take?” She complains to them. My transaction is done, and what usually is a quick–name, address, phone number, is taking forever because of this woman. So I help the next customer, as there is a line now.
“What?” The woman sighs yelling into the phone, “This music is so irritating, it’s giving me a headache, I can’t think!”
I quickly go and turn the music super soft, and the managers nearby turn and look at me, asking what I’m doing.
I say into the walkie, “The customer thinks it’s too loud and irritating.”
The customer in front of me says, “What? This is great music.” Yes it is, it’s classic and Christmas music, because this is the season of cheer and giving. This fact is obviously lost on my rude customer.
Then I hear her say, “No, this is taking too long! I am just going there myself! Goodbye!” She bangs the phone on the counter, since the receiver is behind the counter, as if she were slamming it to hang up. She doesn’t say thank you, nor anything for my patience and understanding while she was being a terrible, horrible example of a human being, then storms out of the store, as angry as the first moment I met her.
The customer in front of me, laughs a little, saying, “It’s just this time of year, everyone’s stressed out.” I wanted to reply, “No, this is how people are all year long.” I should know, I write about it.

Right after this, I called back the other store, because I had to apologize for how rudely the woman was acting and how terribly she treated the person on the phone who was only trying to help her get what she was looking for. This is how horrible some people are, how real shopping customers can be.

Don’t listen to people saying, “Kill them with kindness,” because when they look at you like you’re a ‘product’ or a slave for their bidding, they could care less if you were the most helpful, kind and generous person in the entire world. They’ll still think you’re worthless.

Customer Type: Big Baby, The Capitalist, The Dumb, Modern-Slave Owner

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2 Responses to “Do Onto Others”

  1. Saki Says:

    You make some amazing points here. This actually reminds me of a wretched customer I had to deal with yesterday. She was one of those examples of a poor excuse for a Human being.

    Number-Crunching Old Lady from Bi-Polar-ville

    One of my coworkers was helping this old woman in our department and after finding all the things she needed, she had to take her break while that woman was still browsing.

    She comes up to me and inquires about my coworker who had left on her 15 minute break. I explain to her that my coworker will be back in about 10 minutes.

    I can tell this lady might be ‘one-of-those’ customers because of her entitled behavior. While I was waiting for my coworker to get back, she complained and asked, “Why aren’t there any chairs in this store?” I replied, “We have chairs by the fitting rooms, you’re free to sit there.” (it would literally take her under 20 steps to walk to it). She turns at me and says, “No, they should have them by the register.” Stupidly, I suggest that she can still sit down by the fitting rooms and she interrupts me and says something along the lines of, “you should tell that to your manager.” I correct myself, telling her that I meant she’s still free to sit there, not that she cared.

    Much to my delight, she said that she was going to walk over to women’s clothing and look around. I was free of her for a short period of time and during that time, my coworker came back from her break. It was the end of her shift and she said it was okay if I rang up her customer. To put the cherry on top, she mentioned how she was such a “nice lady.” I managed a weak laugh. Little did I know that this would be the sh*t bomb that finishes off my shift.

    The lady gets back and complains about my coworkers in women’s clothing, stating that no one helped her and that it’s their loss that they lost her business. I’m guessing she must have left a bunch of disarrayed jeans in their fitting room. “Yeah right..” I thought, what does she expect? For them to kiss her feet?

    Finally, I ring up her transaction and this is where she really became the spawn of Satan.

    I take her coupons and do everything flawlessly, maximizing her savings even though I had to do multiple transactions (we can only use one coupon per transaction). After finishing all that, she demands that I scan all the items to check the prices so she can manually write them down on paper to add everything up. I tell her that she could just look at the receipt totals but she refuses because, “she’s so fast at calculations and used to work in accounting.” <—- trying to prove her self worthiness.

    She missed some of the numbers I mentioned so we had to do this process twice. I even added from her receipts (subtracting the coupons and her gift card) and everything matched up. After all of this, she asks for me to print out the balance on her store card. I do so and after looking at the amount she looks up with a flat expression and states, "This is not right, we'll have to do this over again."

    Me being naive, 'suggests' that we count up the receipts again to make sure the calculations are correct and then minus the difference from the statement. So we do the whole calculation AGAIN and it's still not showing the amount on her statement. Go figure. This woman is obviously senile or just plain refusing to accept the fact that she might have something else she purchased with her card previously.

    She tells me that I should void all the transactions and start over. So I finally oblige (I should have done this way earlier), all the while she's complaining about how this is taking her so long while I'm thinking, "here's a thought, maybe you should have taken your damn calculations home instead of lingering in the store!"

    I void all of her transactions and then ask her if she would like me to bring up her statement again. She starts to go psycho on me and asks, "Why would you do that?!" I tell her it's to check to make sure nothing is on her balance since it showed an inaccurate amount the first time we looked at it. She goes on in an irritated voice, "Didn't you void the transactions?! Didn't you do it correctly? Why are you wanting to know my balance?!!!" I was trying the whole time to answer all her "why's" and now I realize that I was wasting my time. I should have dropped this whole ridiculous topic that she was blowing way out of proportion; this old woman was beyond reason. Between all of that mindless bickering, she even had the nerve to crumple all the neatly voided receipts I laid out for her between her two hands, slamming them down on the counter (as if that was supposed to threaten me) and say in a voice that was borderline yelling, "FORGET THE BALANCE!"

    After crazy blew her fuse, I ask her if she would like me to make separate transactions like before and she says angrily, "Look, I'll make this easy for you and have you make just ONE transaction."

    From this point on, every time she asked me a why to something, I would quickly say, "never-mind" and that seemed to work as she could create no retorts to that.

    I used only one coupon as I could only use one per transaction and handed one of them back to her. She starts to go on with her "why's" again, glares and me and asks, "Why are you giving that back to me?!" Who refuses a coupon? Now I knew she was crazy. I couldn't exactly say "never-mind" so I tell her for the 6th time, "I can only use one coupon per transaction so you can use this next time." She starts to get angry again and whines about why I'm not using the coupons like before to save her money. I say yet again, that I can only use one coupon per transaction so I would have to create multiple transactions for her to use her coupons. She lets out a huff and snaps, "Fine, just do it that way! I've been waiting so long." Just for the record, she was the one who told me to create just one transaction. She was obviously against all my advice and suggestions.

    I finally finished her transaction and me being the professional, apologized for the inconvenience of the transaction taking so long when it was clearly her fault. It was an hour long transaction that could have easily taken under 5 minutes. Surprisingly she apologized (although she didn't elaborate on what) without thanking me at all for all the inconvenience she plagued me with and went on to terrorize other unfortunate people in the world.

    I can only say that this woman must have initial effects of Alzheimer's that's started to make a sponge out of her brain. She was so ridiculously hostile and made arguments out of nothing. I feel like she was trying to put me in a small place and prove her superiority over me by repeatedly claiming her background in accounting and how she was so good at quick calculations in her head while telling me that I shouldn't be so "scared" and that she could "make things easier for me" by doing this or that in her way.

    After all of this, I pity these poor wretches who feel like they have to create a situation to enact their fantasy of a pseudo-dominance because they feel so inferior otherwise.

    Customer type: Condescending, Impatient, Senile, Threatening, Entitlement-complex, Superiority-complex

  2. memoirsofretail Says:

    If everyone worked in retail, they would learn something about respect and disrespect, or they’ll learn to hate people. Although I did write my stories in a satirical sense, I have gained a lot of knowledge and experience from these people and how to deal with or approach people. The worst people can bring the best person out of you.

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